I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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