You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
PANTIES FOUND
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
