I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
