Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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