there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Dicks are not precious.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
