That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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