I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
not ubering you a puppy
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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