you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
