she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
