All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
