Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
