Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
