After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
