I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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