ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
