Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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