Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
