i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
