Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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