So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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