the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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