i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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