Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
