I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I party with great urgency now.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
