You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
