Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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