Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
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