Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
