Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I think my moral compass just broke
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
