Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
