I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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