You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
