So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
