okay pat passed out under dana's car
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize