I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize