Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
