the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
