you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
