Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
