honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i drank out of a bidet.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize