I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
