Christians are straight up FREAKS
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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