using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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