I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
