he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
