Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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