I wannas sexs uuuuu
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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