Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
