When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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