My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
