I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Less talking, more tequila
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
