i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
