I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
