So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
we're making bets on your personal life
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We talked him into tasing himself.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
