we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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