You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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